put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize