I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
