SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The air taste purple.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
