Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
