he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize