8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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