Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
