I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
