remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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