So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize