dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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