when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
