they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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