He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
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Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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