Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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