spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
