Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
