the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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