I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
