Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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