I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
