Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
