Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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