Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
