I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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