He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
