I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
