this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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