I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
