what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
