I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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