the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
