I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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