I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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