Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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