I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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