you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
