We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
