I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
