Whod you bang
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
