I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
