i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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