Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
not ubering you a puppy
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
