Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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