i don't like sucking hair
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
