I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
there is puke in my bra ... again
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