Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
