Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
