If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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