Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
zippers are such a cool invention
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
