similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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