can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
