I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
