He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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