I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
