can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
