that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
