There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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