Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.

Fav 16 1104 3471
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(352): View more from Florida

Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.

Fav 11 4522 1164
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(972): View more from Texas

You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'

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(702): View more from Nevada

Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.

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(914): View more from New York

im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl

Fav 15 1151 5290
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

Fav 14 1462 2937
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(856): View more from New Jersey

he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime

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(540): View more from Virginia

I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.

(1-540): View more from Virginia

I'm so proud of you.

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