Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
