Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
