Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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