he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
