At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
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I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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