I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
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woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
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Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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