So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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